The tension I often find myself in…

I often think about the past three years and how dramatically God has changed me. I feel as though that the past three years I have experienced consistent growth (even if it has not always felt like it). During this time period I have been at Kent State pursuing a bachelor’s degree History. The tension or the theme that has been so prevalent throughout these three years has been between my schooling and my passion for ministry/Gods mission/the church. As a student, I am not so sure I have done the best job of being completely faithful to God in my studies. I could say the same for ministry. These things are by no means at odds with each other, but I question whether I have forced them to be that way in my life. I often say to myself that I have sacrificed grades for relationships (which is true in some ways) In any case, I have continuously considered this tension in my life. It reminds me of the phrase that I have so often heard:

“Either you decide to do only some things well, or you decide to do a lot of things poorly”

I sometimes question whether or not I have had my hand in too many things over the years. I think that this struggle has also led me to compartmentalize what I see as ministry. My classes are just as much a ministry as is my bible study. Likewise with everything else that I spend my time doing. It is a balance I am still figuring out even as a junior. No doubt I have made a lot of mistakes in this realm, but I suppose that I am left being confident in nothing but God’s grace.


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